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Six Years Ago Today

 Today, 6 years ago I wrote a poem which will be featured in my book. It was written in my car on napkins and was a goodbye to the life I use to know.  I was full of fear and tears and needed to express myself. 

I was moving to Calgary Alberta in hopes of a new life and a new start. I read the poem an it emerges a lot of emotion. I remember how lost I felt, how hopeless everything was and how I felt even the police who were supposed to support and help me only disappointed. 

I was moving the first week of May. I was starting a new job May 6th and was terrified. My mother came to help me move. She arrived and we spent time packing and cleaning. This time of the year helps to empower me, helps to to believe in myself, and appreciate my journey. This journey I felt was the only way to escape my abuser. He was on multiple changes for abuse towards me. I had been so lost and scared that I stayed but I was also scared of the unknown. 


I am grateful for my journey as I have learned a lot about myself, how to develop and maintain boundaries, knowing my worth, that it is OK to be alone and that others will love and accept me even with my trauma. I felt that no one would ever want me, but these were the words of my abuser in my head. I still have them emerge sometimes and it takes time to replace them with new factual thoughts and beliefs. 


My learning, my trauma, and who I am inside is what really makes me special in my own way. 

Lets welcome May as a month of celebration of freedom, change, and growth after I left my abuser. 

Cheers


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